Someone who has never experienced chronic pain may have difficulty understanding the complexity of it. When an individual has a family member or friend with chronic pain, they often do not know how best to support them.
Understanding more about a loved one’s chronic pain and what they face daily helps develop empathy. Being empathetic means trying to understand the behaviours and feelings of another person by looking at the world through their perspective.
The following suggestions from painscale.com can help you support a spouse, friend, or relative with chronic pain:
Understand the pain scale – The pain scale is a tool that is used to measure and describe the intensity of the pain an individual feels at any given moment. Values from 1 to 10 are used to describe the level of pain. A rating of 1 indicates “free of pain and feeling wonderful”; whereas a rating of 10 indicates the “most horrible pain ever experienced.” Once familiar with your loved one’s interpretation of the pain scale, asking the person with chronic pain what their pain level number is at a particular time might help to better understand and support them.
Respect physical limitations – It is impossible for another person to determine how well a person with chronic pain can move or what their optimal activity level is at any given time. It is important to respect their physical capabilities. When the person in chronic pain says they need to lie down, sit down, or take medication immediately, listen to them without judgment. This may mean that they are experiencing a sudden bout of pain and cannot continue with the current activity. Also, understand that just because the individual with chronic pain can do a physical activity on a particular day, this does not mean they can do the same activity on other days.
Provide support – Include the individual with chronic pain in daily life whether they are mobile or not. Continue to invite the individual in chronic pain to social engagements even though they may have to cancel at the last minute. Just because a person cannot always join in certain activities or has recently cancelled plans, does not mean that you should stop asking them to join you. If the person says no or cancels at the last minute, don’t take it personally and don’t try to cajole them into coming. Be supportive and understanding
Be aware of depression symptoms – Because changes in chronic pain levels are unpredictable, chronic pain is often exasperating not only physically, but mentally as well. Chronic pain is often accompanied by secondary depression. Depression can lead to the individual hiding their pain, masking their emotions, and isolating themselves. Be sure to discuss any depression symptoms you notice with the person in chronic pain and offer them love, support and understanding. Also, make sure to advise them to discuss any depression symptoms with a health care provider.
