Everyone wants to be the sort of person who is interesting and fun to talk to. But being a great conversationalist doesn’t come easily to most people. How can you become better at conversations? As it turns out, there are a few practical steps you can take to improve your skills. Here are several tips to try.
1. Don’t overlook small talk. Small talk is a crucial part of making conversation. At the very least, small talk is almost always the necessary precursor to deeper and more engaging topics. View small talk as a means to show you are polite, friendly, and basically worth talking to.
2. Be interested. Conversation is always a matter of give-and-take. If you don’t show interest in the words of your conversation partner, they won’t want to listen to you either. Paying close, serious attention to others is a matter of respect, and will make people feel appreciated.
3. Ask questions. Asking questions is one of the best ways of showing interest in another person. Questions are also generally the means by which a conversation is broadened or deepened past superficial topics. At an appropriate lull in the talk, ask whatever questions the flow of the conversation brings to your mind.
4. Don’t assume. Making assumptions often results in rudeness. For example, if someone reveals something about themselves, don’t immediately jump in with your explanation of what they are describing. Let the person reveal matters for themselves, or ask a question to directly inquire. Be genuinely open to what someone is trying to communicate.
5. Don’t criticize. There’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion. In fact, the variety of views among humans is one of the things that makes life interesting. However, you don’t want to get into an argument. Respectfully air your differing opinion without insulting or attacking. If the topic of the conversation is particularly sensitive, consider trying to change the subject.
6. Put the phone down. The digital revolution has created an additional impediment to the art of making conversation: the smart phone. Many people check their phones compulsively. Those prone to anxiety may use their phone as a crutch to mitigate nerves. However, your smart phone won’t help you have good conversations. Looking at your phone will distract you and is simply rude to others.
7. Have good body language. A conversation is certainly not just about words. Your expression and how you hold your body are a method of communication as well. Stand up straight with your shoulders back to show self-confidence and openness. Indicate friendliness by smiling. Laugh when appropriate. Make regular eye contact, especially if you are looking to deepen a connection.
Talking with other people is something that everyone spends a lot of time doing. After all, conversation is an essential part of human behaviour. Becoming a better conversationalist is for this reason always worth doing.
