Not all friendships can withstand the test of time. We grow older, we change, we move on. And through this process we can gain or lose friends along the way.
You may drift apart from some friends naturally or realize suddenly that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. WebMD gives us some signs that it may be time to move on:
You’re not a priority. You may notice that your friend doesn’t make the effort to be with you. Maybe they’re hard to reach or don’t seem interested. Sometimes this could be temporary if a sudden crisis has appeared in their lives, but if you rarely feel like a priority or if you sense that your friend doesn’t think you’re worth their time, it’s best to move on.
You give more than you take. At times, one person may need more than the other. But if a friend is constantly a taker and rarely a giver, it’s not a balanced friendship. If you’re always there for them but they don’t do the same for you, it may be a sign to say goodbye.
Your friend is disrespectful or mean. Healthy friendships offer support and affirmation. If your friend doesn’t respect your feelings, it’s an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it.
If you’ve peacefully grown apart, no need to have a whole conversation to end your relationship. You can just continue drifting away. But if you feel the need to address things and close the chapter, these steps can help you do it with grace:
Set a time to talk when you’re both in a calm and clear headspace. Talking in person or over the phone depends on your comfort level and what kind of terms you’ve been on.
Start with positive things, such as what you’ve enjoyed about your friendship or learned from them. Then explain why you’ve come to this decision using “I” statements and sharing how you feel. This can reduce the chance of them arguing or getting defensive.
Listen, empathize, apologize, and take accountability where it’s due.
Set boundaries, if necessary, and wish them well.
