Gaslighting is one of those terms that seems to be thrown around a lot. Many people mistake gaslighting for other forms of psychological aggression and abuse, such as bullying and exclusion.
In fact, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. The person doing the gaslighting manipulates the person being gaslighted in a way that forces them to question their own version of events and even their own sanity. An example of gaslighting in the workplace could be a boss who says they don’t remember you submitting a deliverable, even though you handed it to them a few hours ago. By making you question your own memories, gaslighters use your insecurities to try and control you.
Gaslighting seems to come more naturally to some people than others. In fact, not all gaslighters are aware of what they are doing.
A gaslighting situation at work can cause you to dread each week. This can prevent you from enjoying your personal life and even push you to look for a new job. The worst part is, gaslighting causes you to question your own experience, making it tough to seek help.
- So how do you know for sure that you’re a victim of gaslighting in the workplace? Watch out for these signs:
- You hear persistent negative accounts of your performance.
- You hear the suspected gaslighter publicly say negative things about you.
- You hear negative, untrue gossip about yourself.
- You find yourself questioning your perception of reality at work.
- The suspected gaslighter belittles your emotions, efforts, or perceptions.
- You’re excluded from meetings or events relevant or required for your job.
The number one sign of gaslighting at work is persistent behaviour that causes you to question your own reality. The key to identifying and confronting this kind of workplace harassment is by taking note of repeated patterns over time.
If you suspect that someone at work is gaslighting you, here’s what to do about it.
- Confirm that it truly is gaslighting.
- Document the gaslighter’s behaviour.
- Get support and focus on self-care.
Meet with your gaslighter. This might be tough, but you’re going to have to confront your gaslighter on their behaviour. Be firm about where the other person seems to be having issues with performance, consistency or remembering details. Remember, your own performance is not the issue.
If you don’t have any success after meeting with your gaslighter, then schedule a meeting with a human resources rep or a senior manager to discuss the issue. Be sure to share all the supporting evidence you’ve collected. Remember, you shouldn’t have to suffer constant psychological abuse at work, so don’t be afraid to get the help you need.
