Practicing gratitude can be beneficial in many ways. It can improve your psychological functioning, physical health, and your relationships. You can enjoy the little things in life that make you smile. However, gratitude, like everything else, can also negatively impact your mental health. According to Psychology Today, if you use gratitude to mask other feelings you may be experiencing, this could have a negative impact on your emotional well-being down the road.
Gratitude becomes unhealthy when you use it to diminish or dismiss your own experiences of various stressors and harms. Sometimes life can throw you that curve ball or punch you in the stomach so hard you can’t catch your breath. It could be the sudden loss of a loved one, or an unexpected medical diagnosis. Processing your feelings through these events, rather than ignoring them or hiding behind gratitude, has more benefits for your mental wellbeing. It’s okay to feel sad, or angry or disappointed. You don’t have to tell yourself; “It could be worse”.
To avoid minimizing your emotions, consider these tips when you practice gratitude:
- Experience and validate your emotions before you focus on practices of gratitude. If you focus on your emotional processing first, you may be less tempted to use gratitude to minimize or invalidate your emotional experiences. Remember that all your emotions are vital, including negative ones, such as anger, grief, and even hopelessness.
- Don’t compare your feelings, thoughts, or situation with others. Instead, focus on your personal experiences when practicing gratitude. For example, instead of telling yourself you should be grateful because many people have it much worse, simply say, “I’m truly grateful for ___.”
- Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions (including negative or painful ones) in addition to experiencing gratitude. For example, you can actively grieve a loss and also feel grateful for the people and things that you have not lost or for the time you got to spend with what has been lost.
- Do not force gratitude when you’re feeling upset to manage your emotions. Instead, allow yourself to experience your emotions while acknowledging that gratitude won’t stop or fix them.
