Perhaps the most talked-about method for pumping yourself up is telling yourself to work harder, get stronger, and develop grit. But some experts tend to disagree. Working on your self-esteem in such a way can have a few pitfalls.
Self-esteem is tied to external validation, so it’s fragile, says Christopher Germer, PhD, a lecturer in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. When things don’t go right, or even when you don’t get as many likes as you expected on a social media post, comparison, feelings of isolation, and criticism can happen.
When you get down on yourself, you wind up doubting yourself, which makes it harder to take risks, learn, and grow. You become afraid of failure, and you’re more likely to give up than to try again.
An alternate way is to try self-compassion, which involves showing yourself kindness when you’re struggling, failing, or noticing something you don’t love about yourself. In other words, give yourself a break! By caring and expressing concern for yourself during hard times, you’re able to persevere and create changes.
Positive self-talk takes practice if it’s not your natural instinct. If you’re generally more pessimistic, you can learn to shift your inner dialogue to be more encouraging and uplifting.
However, forming a new habit takes time and effort. Over time, your thoughts can shift. Positive self-talk can become your norm. These tips from healthline.com can help:
Identify negative self-talk traps. Certain scenarios may increase your self-doubt and lead to more negative self-talk. Work events, for example, may be particularly hard. Pinpointing when you experience the most negative self-talk can help you anticipate and prepare.
Check in with your feelings. Stop during events or bad days and evaluate your self-talk. Is it becoming negative? How can you turn it around?
Find the humour. Laughter can help relieve stress and tension. When you need a boost for positive self-talk, find ways to laugh, such as watching funny animal videos or a comedian.
Surround yourself with positive people. Whether or not you notice it, you can absorb the outlook and emotions of people around you. This includes negative and positive, so choose positive people when you can.
Give yourself positive affirmations. Sometimes, seeing positive words or inspiring images can be enough to redirect your thoughts. Post small reminders in your office, in your home, and anywhere you spend a significant amount of time.
