Being direct can be a good thing. You let people know what you want or need without any added platitudes or “talking around” a subject. However, there is a fine line between being direct and “overly direct”.
If you are overly direct with people you may find yourself being the odd-man-out when co-workers either avoid you or ask you for direction too often because they don’t want to deal with your negative reactions if they were to make a mistake.
Aspire-cs.com offers a few ideas to consider if your actions or attitude place you in the “my way or the highway” category without you even realizing it:
• Slow down: Take some deep breaths, all the way down into your belly. This will oxygenate your brain, giving you a fighting chance at thinking rationally. Ground yourself in the present moment. Sure, you have lots to do and think about, but this moment is all you have. Make it count by paying attention to it.
• Stop and listen: Stop talking and listen to the individual you are speaking to. Face them, look them in the eye and tune in to what they are saying.
• Observe yourself: With practice, you can learn to pay attention to your reactions at the moment and still be present with the person you are speaking to. Learn to recognize the emotional triggers that may make your tone too insistent, harsh, rushed or abrupt. When you feel those triggers coming on, you know it’s time to slow down and breathe.
• Observe them: Pay attention to the reactions others have when you are communicating with them. Do you observe fear or engagement? Have you shut them down or are they conversing with you? Put some warmth in your tone and slow your pace so that they will speak up.
• Put yourself in their shoes: A little bit of empathy can go a long way in avoiding being too blunt. Think about how you might feel if someone were being too blunt in their conversation with you. Dial it back by asking them a question to invite them back into the conversation.
Taking time for a little self-reflection can help you make better decisions or choices in all aspects of your life. This can lead to a healthier, more positive view of you and others.
