Yes, there is indeed no place like home for the holidays. For some, this sentiment brings thoughts of happiness, love, and joy. For others, maybe not so much.
Being home for the holidays is an ingrained tradition, as well as all the stress that comes with it. There are songs about it, movies about it and books about it. Perhaps you now live on the other side of the country, or perhaps even another country. Travelling in winter is never pleasant, especially if you only a have a few days off and it takes almost all of those few days to get there.
And perhaps your family was one that was never close and visiting them is not really an option, especially if they caused you physical or psychological harm. You do not need to be confronted with that and you should not feel any guilt in choosing to stay away. In this case, it’s time to create new traditions.
But if your family is exasperating and lovable all at once and you feel the need to reconnect with those you once shared shelter, toys and TV time with, there are way to make this time a happier one. Here are a few ideas:
Prioritize exercise. Get out of the house regularly and go for a walk in the neighourbood or check out old haunts you used to visit growing up. If the kids are with you, take them to places you used to play.
Keep close tabs on your emotions. A crucial part of emotional regulation is being able to recognize emotions as they arise. Check in on your emotional state to put out any fires before they become out of control.
Know your triggers. If, for example, alcohol loosens your tongue just a little too much, keep a lid on the rum and eggnog intake. Think back on past scenarios. Are there any patterns you’ve noticed that can be avoided in the future?
Don’t lose perspective. Remember, all you will have one day are the memories of the older members of your family. Yes, maybe they are exasperating now, but at least you can still touch them and hug them. It’s possible there’s a future version of yourself sitting around wishing you’d spent the effort to see family while you still had the chance.
